Tech support:What kind of computer do you have?

Customer:A white one...

Tech support:Click on the "My Computer" icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says "Can't find printer". I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

Tech support:What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

Customer:My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support:Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer:No. I can't get behind the computer.

Tech support:Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer:! OK

Tech support:Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer:Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.

Customer:I can't get on the Internet.

Tech support:Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer:Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support:Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five dots.

Tech support:What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer:Netscape.

Tech support:That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer...

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support:How may I help you?

Customer:I'm writing my first email.

Tech support:OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech support:Are you running it under windows?

Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.

Tech support:Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager.

Customer:I don't have a P.

Tech support:On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer:What do you mean?

Tech support:"P".....on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!